What does Counselling support with?

Have you ever felt like life was beyond you, that no matter how big or small something is it is just too much. What if you were able to see life from an observation rather than being so in it you cannot see a way out.

Life feeling overwhelming, like someone has turned the light off, that you are in a tunnel with no end. Depression is and can be debilitating if you do not seek support, it is like a blanket that follows you around hindering you from seeing the true light of day.

Many people see relationships as those they are only intimate with, but relationships are everywhere in our daily lives. We are in relationship with those at work, our family, the people who may service our cars, the local supermarket we get our groceries from, any one we have contact with is a relationship, the depth of that relationship varies based on the level of transparency and  intimacy we have with them.

For example those we live with, are married to or in an intimate relationship with are going to be people in your life that challenge you more, that reflect what and how you live, that may push your buttons more than another. It is usually those closest to us that challenge us the most, that we personalise things with and expect more from. There can be a lot that goes unsaid, that each one in the relationship has differing perspectives, is fed different ideals, beliefs and pictures of how each other should be, how the relationship should look and unfold.  

Relationships are full of expectations, most of which undisclosed and unknown to each other, a lot of the time we don’t even know ourselves acting on automatic pilot of what we have been conditioned to believe or think a relationship is from young. We observe this around us and from what we see, hear and feel, we build our own pictures of how we want or think relationships should be. But we all grow up in different social economic backgrounds, have differing religions, ethnicity and consciousness that impacts those pictures of how we would like or want our relationships to be. The many many pictures and idea often shattered very early on, the push and pull of trying to get each other and another to conform to our way can bring up an immense pressure within relationships. A lot of the time many expectations go undisclosed and undisguised. It is the unsaid that is always felt, and the importance of our movements becomes everything. We think that if we do not speak, another has no idea what we are thinking, yet, somehow they always seem to know and we are left wondering what and why the tension is there when nothing has apparently been said.

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Through my own observations in my relationship and with others I have come to see the importance of movement, of sharing even the smallest of things if it is there to be shared, not allowing the space for any gaps, for in the gaps is where the tension builds and the perceptions are fed. With this the gap grows, until such time for many relationships it feels irreparable. When you begin to bring more observation to your movements, to dropping any pretences or protection, to start to not personalise you are more able to discern what is unfolding and to realise there may be more at play than you originally first thought. That maybe your partner, friend, work colleague or grocery store checkout person has more going on that what is first being see,

Many of us suffer shock and trauma in our lives, for some it is a major event in their lives, for others it may be what appears to another as insignificant. No-one can judge what is shock and trauma for one and not another as we all have different measures and perceptions of life. Anything that leaves you feeling altered in any way can age a form of shock or trauma and getting support with this is the only way to shift it out of the body.

There are many levels of physical abuse, some of which we deem as acceptable, find a justification for, an excuse for why it may have happened, we think maybe it was something we did or said that allowed it to happen. In any situation that is abusive, there should be no doubt that whatever your movements were, no level of abuse is acceptable.

We have all experienced Grief and Loss at some point in our lives, whether it be through the loss of a loved one, a relationship breakdown, the loss of financial support, illness and disease, no matter what the source it is all an impact on the body that regardless of how well we think we have coped we still need support. It can sometimes remain in the body, with us placing our focus or emphasis elsewhere until such time we give ourselves space and it reappears to be dealt with.

Becoming a parent does not come with a rule book or instruction manual, we all enter into it with an un knowing of what will be next. We research, we read, we discuss and talk with others, or we stay silent trying to work it our by ourselves, Going into comparison, feeling like we have failed if we get something wrong or do not know. That we may have done what we call and incredible job with child number on e and have absolutely no idea with child number two, so does that make us a bad parent, does that make us a failure, or does it reflect to us that no two beings are the same and what works for one will not always work for another.  Parenting is not something we get right, it is a constant learning, an opportunity to observe yourself and your child, to respond rather than react with no perfection only a willingness to learn and evolve together.

Stress varies for everyone, and at times situations that have occurred that we think are not stressful may show up much later in the body through many differing ways such as loss of weight, gain weight, hair loss, brittle nails, difficulty in sleeping, loss of appetite, loss of libido. There can be a myriad of situations that cause underlying stress and we mayn’t recognise it due to the business and overwhelm of our already full lives.

Do you have difficulty sleeping, is it regularly, occasionally, does it impact on your day, your quality of work and thought process. For many with busy lives it is becoming more normal to have some kind of sleep deprivation, most will turn to natural therapies and some not. There are many movements we make in the lead up to going to bed, many of them more stimulating than what we realise, they leave you feeling tired but the internal stimulation is far greater than what we know. Getting support with routines and rythms in your day can support with being more settled at night before you head to bed.

What do you deem as life changes, are they moving house, starting a new job, getting a promotion, demotion, having child, starting a new relationship, moving cities, buying a new car, starting school, leaving school, changing your diet, the list is endless. Do you make these changes by yourself, or do you get support, do you feel like things spin around and around in your head and never actually eventuate for whatever reason that may be. Life changes big or small are impactful and can be as simple as the way you have your bed positioned in your room to moving counties, either either it matters not, life changes are life changing.

What do you deem a a work issues, does it have to entail being bullied, denoted, not heard, not understood, not appreciated, not accepted, under paid, over paid, poor working conditions, lack of work, too much work, anything that leaves you thinking about what it is or is not can be turned into an issue if we bring a focus or emphasis to it, talking with someone always helps to get it out of your body and back into where it may belong.

Making choices is a choice, it is not always about one specific thing as life is full of choices and you are forever called to discern what is true and what is not. At times that may not always feel so simple because lets face it life if full, it has more choices than. Ever before and at times it can be quite daunting for some of us which we to go and what choice to make. No choice is ever too small or too large, right or wrong and you do not always have to make it alone.

Do you find your health sometimes takes a back seat, that it can be overwhelming in a busy life style and life lived. It is at times something that we google, try to find answers for alone, and there are plenty of things to choose form when it comes to our diets and wellbeing, but what is it that truly works for you, how do you know, and who can best support you in everyday choices that can have a life long impact. Councillors often have experience with all situations in life, for myself, diet and wellbeing became a focus from my late teens and early twenties after getting ill. I started to study dietetics and nutrition to better support myself and my body, even with this background I still found it supportive to speak with someone that could hep me not to get caught up in the pictures of how I thought it should look.

Being pregnant and giving birth is an exciting time in many women lives, it can be filled with a natural learning and adjustments, some of which we do well by listening to and responding to our own bodies, whilst there may also be areas where we sometimes feel we need support with, often talking it out with someone who is not personally involved can be a great option as they can share advice that is not based on a personal attachment  and more from an observation and shared wisdom through other practitioners.

Along with cancer and illness comes shock, trauma, detachments, adjustments in life, family, work and relationships. How we live with illnesses, diseases and Cancer impacts on not just ourselves but all those around us. It can be a struggle at times to not loose sight of what you need in your own path of recovery and development if you are ill. Having someone to talk to is super important in the healing process, an ear to listen to whatever you may be feeling, no matter how big or small.

What do you classify as an addiction, Drugs, Alcohol, gambling, shopping, food, abuse, gossip, televisions, gaming, Facebook, internet surfing, the list is endless, anything that’s you bringing a focus and emphasis to it that is more important than true connection with yourself or another is an addiction that hinders you from feeling truly settled.

Does work place bullying occur more than it used to, or is it that it is more seen, out in the one and talked about more than it used to be. Bullying is bullying, it is another form of abuse, it is a movement that encroaches on you, you space and your ability to work without being on edge, under stress and pressure. Often for many they will move own from their job as they do not want to confront the situation, it leaves the abused feeling deflated and at times can age unsettling and leave you feeling quite frustrated. Being in a situation where you are under constant pressure or stress impacts on your health and wellbeing and is not something that we should overlook, even if you cannot change the situation it is always supportive to talk about what you are feeling.

Many of us have may life transitions in one life time, they can be anything form moving house, school, jobs, loosing a loved one, getting divorced, separated, children moving out of home, ageing, it can be any thin g that you have to transition out of and or in to. Our lives are ever changing and shifting, therefore ever transitioning from one moment to the next, keeping up with and making the adjustments required can sometimes be overwhelming and support can be extremely supportive.

Do you shy away form situations where you feel you are lacking confidence, that you resist taking on a job, relationship or opportunity because you feel you are lacking certain skills, qualifications or expression. Building confidence does not always come naturally to many people, it is something that first requires you to be settled with who you are, then from there you are able to be more settled with others. Building your confidence requires you to be and feel safe to express, starting with someone who will confirm you and sees your inner strengths is a great way to start. In a space where you feel safe to open up and share all you are feeling and develop that strength further so you can take more of you out to the world.

Financial issues place allot of tension on your body, your relationships, family, work place and your daily movements. Everything become about saving, spending, investing, claiming, re claiming, many different variables when it comes to financial issues, some may be an issue for some and possibly not for another. Never are you right or wrong in what you are feeling, it is for each of us to never discount what you feel and what for you may be an issue or not.

Abuse in past decades had usually been seen as physical, the kind that leaves a mark, broken bone, bruising, but what about the scares that lie deep within the body, cursed by a one liner said in what may be classified as a throw  away moment, but is anything ever truly a throw away, when it is all said and done and all that is said or done leaves behind a remnant of some kind. Something may be said in jest, but what are we saying in that moment, how is what is being said perceived, is it perceived the same we  perceive it to be, do we verbally abuse someone and think it leaves no scar, no memory, not imprint. No matter what we do or say it all has an impress that can harm or heal, no contact may be made physically but all is always felt.

How do you communicate with another or others, are you completely transparant or do you feel there is a part of you that holds back to a degree, guarded, protected not knowing how you will be perceived, that perhaps you only let part of your expression be herd, share only a portion of what you are feeling or have observed. In the holding back, protection, lack of communication e allow for gaps and in those gaps it is a space and potential for another to then fill those gaps in with their own interpretation. From that point all kinds or ideals, beliefs and pictures can come into play. Communication offers and prevents the gaps being filled with the nonsensical interpretation that then goes on to set up disturbances down the track.

Physical, mental or emotional, childhood scarring is more impactful that we realise or care to see. What unfolds as a child grows up for many may be seen as not important, non impactful, how do we know, have we ever stopped to truly ask a child how they are feeling, do they feel like they have the space to truly share all they observe and feel around them. Do we ever stop to feel how felt as children when we were not heard, adored and embraced as amazing beings. Was the emphasis on how we're expected to be, to fulfil pictures whether they be in life, it can stay buried for many many years, but if it is there, it can hold back your true expression, love and movement leaving you feeling unsettled and tense without even knowing why.

So what is life all about, you are up, get up, go to work, eat a meal, exercise, watch a movie, spend time with your family, and the cycle continues. But how do you feel, like you are on a rat wheel with no true purpose in sight, that you are going around and around but none of what yo do makes sense, or seems purposeful. What if you looked outside the box and made it not about what you do but the contact, connections and way you are with another, that all that you do impacts, effects and is incremental in another expression and day also. That everything you do matters and in that there is great purpose.